Knowledge Gaps

Part of my anxiety as a kid was being called out for not knowing or understanding something I “should.” Whether it was a pop culture reference, historical fact, or answer to a math problem, if I didn’t know it, shame set in. I learned to pretend I knew everything or that I was having a brain hiccup.

Now that I have a handle on my anxiety (most days), I lean in to learning what I don’t know. And embracing my knowledge gaps has been absolutely freeing. Admitting my ignorance has actually increased my confidence, which makes very little sense to younger me. Wouldn’t people view me as incompetent or stupid if I don’t know the answers to everything?

Au contraire, petite Charli.

Owning what you don’t know makes you more relatable to your peers. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned as an adult, it’s that most of us operate with imposter syndrome, keeping our heads down hoping no one notices our errors. And here’s the other thing I’ve learned while managing anxiety – no one cares as much as you do about your perceived flaws or gaffes. NO ONE. We are our harshest critics. And if we can laugh at ourselves, it lets others in on the joke.

Narwhals Are Real

Having kids has really opened up my eyes to all of the things I don’t know. Mostly because they will ask me questions, and my response 85% of the time is “I don’t know, let’s look it up.” Sometimes I’m embarrassed that I need to use a calculator or ask Alexa the answer to their pressing questions. But most of the time, I take it as a modeling moment.

See, mom has no idea and isn’t afraid to admit it! It’s okay to say “I don’t know!” Here’s how to find out the answer.

Turns out a significant knowledge gap my family have helped me close is around mythical creatures. It all started before we had kids. I learned during an annual viewing of Elf that the talking narwhal was indeed a real animal (not the talking part, obviously. I’m not that ignorant).

In my defense, narwhals look like unicorns of the sea, and we all know unicorns aren’t real. Neither are mermaids, which live in the sea. Ergo, why would narwhals be? Fortunately, Arthur already claimed me as his bride so he couldn’t cut and run easily.

Jackalopes Are Mythical

I wish I could say that was my only gap in knowledge regarding animals. Alas, it turns out I should have spoken up earlier in my youth.  A recent episode of Lego Masters featured a team building a jackalope, which I assumed was real based on seeing stuffed rabbits with antlers at restaurants throughout the Midwest.

My family gently informed me they are made up. Arthur explained that the antlered rabbits I saw were taxidermy jokes. I guess the joke is on me. Or him, depending on how you look at the situation. Especially considering a few weeks earlier he informed me that wolverines were indeed real, and not just a made up thing for Marvel movies.

Add It to the List

Now I keep a tally of the animals I learn about. Mostly because I think it’s funny, but also to keep track of which is real and which is mythical. If I couldn’t keep it straight before, I’m really not going to be able to now that the list is growing. Sometimes I wonder if I’d be more or less confused if my adolescent reading included more fantasy. Had I read Harry Potter as a kid, would I be able to better differentiate real versus fake animals? Or would it just add to the cornucopia of confusion?

I guess I’ll never know. And that’s okay! Unless Alexa knows the answer…